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Thursday, January 31, 2013

a true test of patience

I have so many questions in my mind regarding a lot of serious stuff.  I want to know when I will be having HIPEC (or if I will for 100% sure have it) I want to know where exactly the mucin in my belly is and how extensive it is.  I am hopeful that since Dr. Hodul was just in there on 12/10/12 not much has changed or will change but I think about it a lot.  I want to know how to prepare for what's to come and what will go along with it.  Will I have a relatively easy HIPEC? Will I end up having more organs removed than we expect? Like, will I need to have my spleen removed? Will I have to have a hysterectomy at 32 years old?  Sean and I hoped for another child so do we go to the extreme of freezing eggs? How do I prepare my kids for me having another surgery? What will we do if Vika (our nanny) isn't with us anymore once I have the surgery? I can't imagine being away from my kids for 3 weeks... so what solution will we come up with for that one.....  As all of these thoughts race through my mind (and there's even more of them), all I can do is breath.  I suppose all of those questions will be answered sometime soon, so for now I have no choice but to enjoy today. And I am enjoying my days.

I officially go back to work tomorrow.  I think it will be nice to be back in my "normal" routine.  And, our European vacation is almost planned.  I can't believe Sean and I are taking this huge trip but we have a lot to celebrate, including our 7 year wedding anniversary.  We'll be arriving in Zurich and heading straight to the mountins for a few days of skiing.  We'll head over to Paris for another 3 days and then finish our trip in London.  I have never been to Europe and Sean hasn't been in many years.  We are very excited!

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