5 YEARS

November 19, 2017

Five years ago today I was told I had two types of cancer, both in my appendix. I was a 31 year old, healthy mom of two.  And 5 years ago I was completely blindsided by this news. I spent that day in shock, completely rattled by the most intense fear one can experience. I remember praying to God to just let me live 5 more years. I had no idea how much my life was about to change.

I endured 3 surgeries, one requiring a vertical incision that left a large scar down my abdomen. I went to countless doctors appointment, have had countless blood draws and scans every 3-6 months followed by semi-annual then annual scans and now finally every two years.  I had my most recent scan in September of this year which was No Evidence of Disease.

I changed the way I lived. I learned how to breathe through life's toughest moments. I learned that fear is only a lie that robs us of life. And I learned how to live big every single day.

We've moved 3 times.

I met the most amazing man almost 3 years after my divorce.  I took my time and waited patiently for the right guy and I am thankful every day that I found him.  We were blessed with a baby on July 2nd. My heart burst with gratitude as I introduce Easton, my sweet little miracle.

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I look back on these last 5 years with a sense of peace.  No one deserves to go through cancer but I know that without going through it, I wouldn't have the life I have today.  I am so happy.

Miracle

A surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be the work of a divine agency. 

That's the official definition of - Miracle.  And as silly as it feels to claim that I have experienced a miracle, I don't know what else to call it.

I'm pregnant, expecting a perfect, healthy baby this summer.  Jeremy and I, as well as Ava and Liam, are thrilled.     

I was told that I had two types of primary cancer, both in my appendix almost 4.5 years ago and with that was also told that my right fallopian tube was completely clogged (from the mucin from one of the tumors) and my left tube was partially clogged.  Take that, mixed with the scar tissue from the 3 surgeries I had in the following 13 months and the chance of conceiving naturally was unlikely. Then, add in a divorce. I had always wanted 3 or 4 children but I came to terms that additional children just wasn't in the cards for me.  And I was completely ok with that.... Ava and Liam have been my world. 

I am so lucky to have met Jeremy. We have such a good relationship and are really happy together.  We both talked of expanding our family but knew that it could be challenging without medical intervention, not to mention I'm 35 now.  

Yet somehow, the stars aligned.  In the midst of life's crazy timing and against all odds, we have been so blessed with a new life.  Our little miracle baby.