Calm

Even though the past 15 days have been a whirlwind, there is a calmness that has begun to settle in.  No one EVER wants to get diagnosised with cancer.  But as far as getting diagnosiged with cancer goes, I've been one of the lucky ones...... blessed.   I spoke with my oncologist today and what we know is:  Both cancers (the two different tumors) have come back from Moffit's pathologist listed as low grade. (This means that the surgical oncologist theory of the second tumor not really being a true cancerous tumor is not correct, but at least they are both low grade) Both scans have cleared the worry that anything has spread. All labwork has come back negative for the yucky chemicals and markers they were checking for.  And even though this huge surgery is starring me in the face, it's what hopefully will seal the deal with beating this cancer.

Anytime I get anxious about the surgery I tell myself that I this is the necessary step to get the rest of the tumor out.  (clean margin)  Sean and I met with Moffit's anesthesiologist today.  I'm leaning towards getting that epidural.  It will be nice to have one, big safety net for pain management as I wake up from the surgery.  

My cold is going away.  I'm not sure if it was just a nasty virus or if the antibiotic is working, but I'm feeling better. My appetite is getting better too.  I'm not loosing any more weight.  (in fact I may have gained a pound or two.) 

The next 6 days will be full of tying up loose ends with work, the holidays and for this mamma being a bit out of commission for a few weeks.  

I want to thank you again for all of the prayers, positive thoughts and encouraging words.  It ALL helps.  Please pray for a successful surgery.  For no complications.  For my surgeon and medical team.  For my recovery.  For the pathology report (from anything removed during surgery) to come back clean.  For my family. 

Thank you.

Jenesa

There are things that we can not control.  But there are things that we can control.  And what I know is that I'm going to be fine.  I'm going to be a SURVIVOR. I have a lot of living left to do!