tick tock

I look forward to feeling like myself again.  I'm not the girl who likes to stay home and veg out all day (or for many many days)  I think this is one of the hardest parts of this ordeal.  I have to rest and heal.  I have to go slow, but all that does is leave me bored and thinking about stuff.  Sigh.
It is settling in that what has been uncovered will never change.  I can't make the fact that I am 31, otherwise healthy, diagnosed with 2 different cancers (one rare) go away.  That's the hand I've been dealt.  So when I sit here pouting or frustrated about it I just tell myself, "there's nothing I can do about that". I'm trying SO hard to concentrate on what I can control.  It's just hard when I'm stuck at home with my thoughts and worrys. I want a plan.  I want to know the pathology from the surgery.  I just want to hear all was good from the pathology.  That way I can concentrate on my recovery and whatever next steps there are to completely irradicate that stupid mucinous cancer.
It's overwhelming but I can clearly see my life after the battle I'm up against.  I just need to stay strong while I'm in the fight of my life. (no pun intended :)