Calm (ish)

Appointment with Dr. Bartlett went really well.   We reviewed the scan from July and last week and there was little to no change in the fluid in my pelvis and the level of fluid is at a "physiologic level".  He did say that occassionally what appeared to be normal fluid in a scan can be mucin and disease once inside, though he did not think that was likely, just a possibility.  He even seemed to insinuate that this surgery may not even be necessary but given my rare diagnosis and age and other factors it's the right thing to do.  All blood work and tumor markers were normal also.

Surgery will start around 730 tomorrow morning.  The incision will not be in my belly button as I had assumed it would be.  Instead it will be off to the side.  That bothered me initially but I'm over it now.  The plan is to sample and send to pathology as many samples as they see fit.  As long as nothing comes back with any cancer cells it should only be 1.5 hours (thats from incision to close)  If they do find just cancer cells but no extensive mucin or tumor, etc.  then they will open me up more, but not the full pelvis to sternum that I dread. Very, very refreshing to hear. If they have to open me up more they'll be looking around for more disease and examining my organs.  If no other disease is seen at that point they will administer HIPEC, the heated chemo solution.  He said in that circumstance the incisions would not be extensive.  Obviously if there is a lot of disease present, all bets are off and he will do what he needs to do.  I asked about the chance of me having to have a full hysterectomy and he said very unlikely. He said my uterus would definitely not be removed and even if either or both of my ovaries were compromised he could leave some sort of functioning ovarian tissue. Amazing news for me.  I do not want to go through menopause at 32.

I feel so at peace with Dr. Bartlett as my surgeon.  I trust him and his team implicitly.

I also feel realtively calm.  I've had a couple almost tearful moments but I have become quite the expert at getting my nerves in check.  For now, I'm back at the hotel, on a liquid only diet, doing some surgery prep that is "for the birds".  My parents are at whole foods getting me organic chicken broth and coconut water.  Aren't they the sweetest?!?  I'm so thankful they are here.  This is the first time I haven't had a spouse/partner by my side and they bring me comfort and make me feel not alone.

I feel so much gratitude for all of the prayers I am receiving from family, friends and even strangers.  Thank you so very much.  Please pray no cancer or cancer cell is seen.  Please pray for Dr. Bartlett and his team.