exhale

This has been a really good weekend.  For the first time in a while, I feel like I'm ok.  Living while knowing there's a deadly disease inside of you is SO hard.  I think hearing that there is no evidence of any disease gave me a confidence boost. And what good timing..... it is nice to go into these appointments without any pressure or urgent desicion making.  (last time I had consultations I was being told you need surgery and you need it now)
I am praying that these appointments give me clarity and hope.  My situation is so unique and I feel a tremendous amount of pressure to make the best decision.  My life literally depends on it. I never, not in a million years or my lifetime did I think I'd be in this situation.  It's so surreal.
Today Sean, my mom and I met up with the local appendix cancer/PMP group.  We had lunch at oxford exchange.  I was really looking forward to seeing everyone.  They are a group of people who really offer me a lot of support and information.  There were 3 of us with this stupid cancer and there were 5 caregivers.  One of our local PMP'ers wasn't feeling well so she couldn't make it and another caregiver couldn't make it because her husband passed away yesterday.  He had appendix cancer and was young too, probably in his 40s.  Ugggghhhhh!

Thank you again and again and again for your prayers.  I am humbled that I have so many people praying for me and thinking of me.  :)