birthday

This weekend we celebrated my birthday at Disney and then with a family dinner at Bern's.  The weekend was a bit emotional for me.  I kept myself together for the most part though.
Theme parks seem to be a trigger for me. I think it's because there's so many people in one place and I feel like the only unlucky one with mucinous appendix cancer.  My rational mind knows there are many sick people there with other horrible diseases but that's just how my mind reacts. We did have a great time.  Ava is proving to be a thrill seeker.  She loves fast rides!!  And Liam loved riding the train and It's a Small World.
We headed home on Sunday morning for an afternoon by the pool.  It was nice to relax, nap and spend time with the 4 of us.
We had plans to go to Berns with the kids, my parents, Charna and Sean's parents.  Sean's parents couldn't make it at the last minute but when we walked into the restaurant Tila was there waiting to surprise me.  She did. I had no idea she was flying in.  It was nice to have the family together.
However, on the way to dinner we received a text from a good friend that his wife (also a friend) was diagnosed with stomach cancer and had just undergone surgery to remove the cancer and part of her stomach. Then Liam spiked a fever right when we got to Berns so Sean had to run out an grab some Motrin. (his temp was 102.5 this morning :(  THEN, during dinner Charna received a text that one of her good friends who had been battling bone cancer had passed away.  He was only 33 years old.  Needless to say I was upset.  Again, I tried to enjoy myself and did have a nice time.  I just hate cancer. I feel like it's trying to destroy the world.  My friend with the stomach cancer is young!  Justin was WAY to young to die.  He was a good person. It's just not fair. And to top it off, my very dear friend's father passed away yesterday too.  He had stage 4 lung cancer.  :(
I try to remain positive. I have a slow growing, low grade cancer that was caught early.  I know both of my surgeons said that I looked healthy (when they were operating in Nov. and Dec.)  It's just so hard when CANCER seems like it's everywhere.  I want to move to a farm in the middle of nowhere and eat carrots and tomatoes and get away from all of the smog and craziness.