Ava's sweet story

It's interesting to be monitored so closely. I imagine that if everyone had routine scans and tumor marker blood work and all the other random tests I have done, most people could relate to what I have gone through and will continue to go through indefinitely and most people would have occasional "things" show up that are benign. I recently had blood work run looking at all sorts of things but I was most interested in 5 tumor markers and 1 urine test.  CEA, CA-125, CA19-9, Chromogranin A, Serotonin and 5 HIAA (the 24 hour urine test) CEA and CA19-9 are broad GI tumor markers, CA-125 is pelvic/abdominal and Chromogranin A, Serotonin and 5 HIAA are all specific to a Neuroendocrine Carcinoid.  Great news is that CEA, CA 19-9, CA 125 were all "normal" and the lowest or close to the lowest they have ever been.  As for the Carcinoid markers,  2 of the 3 are VERY sensitive and can give a false positive from eating a variety of foods, drinking alcohol, tea, coffee and taking certain medications.  I do my best to stay away from the restricted foods (like avocado, banana, walnut, tomato, coffee, etc) but it's difficult AND they don't know everything that gives those false positives.  The Serotonin level and the Chromogranin A level both came back in the normal range and are both blood tests.  The 5 HIAA 24 hour urine test came back slightly elevated.  Normal is <6 and mine was a 10.  My local oncologist was certain that it was a false positive so I didn't freak out... until a couple hours later.  Luckily my freak outs now a days are very controlled and non emotional but I've been battling fear, again.  I understand that things will show up occasionally and that it is most likely nothing!  But it's hard to not have a min pity party that I have to deal with this.  I'm blessed with this amazing life that is currently the best it's been and I selfishly don't want any speed bumps.  Dr. Blanco, my local oncologist wants to wait and retest in August when I have my next scan and recheck for all of the other tumor markers. Surprise, Surprise, I've decided to get a second opinion.  I made an appointment to meet with Dr. Strasberg at Moffitt.  He is the Carcinoid specialist I met with after I was diagnosed and he is one of the best Carcinoid doctors in the USA.  I just want his opinion before I sweep things under the rug for 7 months.

Life has been so great though.  December was so much fun.  It was my first holiday season in years that I didn't have to deal with a scan, blood work or anything medical and I got to enjoy the festivities.  I had my munchkins this year on Christmas Eve and Christmas Morning.  They both woke up at 3:45AM on Christmas morning so we opened presents when most people were sleeping.  It was really cute.  January has flown by and was also full of fun.  This past weekend Ava and Liam met the man I've been dating  (J) and Ava did the sweetest thing I have ever seen.  We were at Busch Gardens eating lunch.  J loves Busch Garden's bread pudding, so I tried one bite of and didn't like it.  When he asked why, Ava immediately said, "I know why".  She turned to me and said, "Mommy, may I tell him your story" and I said, "of course".  She then said, "When Mommy was younger she didn't eat organic and ate a lot of sweets and sugar.  And then she got the cancer  She was very sick and very sad.  But now, she eats organic and doesn't eat sugar or sweets very often"  J said, " and now she's all better" and Ava said, "yes".  My eyes filled with tears.  It was really emotional to hear her perspective of what happened and that she remembers despite it being 3 years ago and her being 4 (almost 5) when it all happened.  I hate that she has that memory but I'm so thankful that we've had 3 more years of happy memories and many, many many more years to come.

2015 ----------> 2016

Happy New Years everyone!

What a year this has been for me.  2015 was a year of personal growth and little journeys. It sounds ridiculously morbid but it's so humbling and emotional when you live through years you at one point thought you wouldn't experience.  After a very busy 2014, I decided to soak life in at a much slower pace.  I stayed in Tampa more and made new friends, strengthened existing friendships and spent a lot of time by myself.  I learned to live in the grey.  Rather than being consumed by living and being a certain way, I acted on what feels right.  This year is ending on such a high note for me.  Lots of great things are brewing and happening and I am excited for what will be going through my mind when I type this post next New Years Eve.

Cheers to a happy and healthy 2016 filled with laughter and adventure.

3 years

3 years.  36 months.  1095 days.  I look at those numbers and cannot believe that much time has gone by since my entire life changed.  But, it has been an amazing 3 years/36 months/1095 days.  11/19/2012 my seemingly perfect life slapped me in the face.  What a humbling lesson I was given that day.  It took some time to pick myself back up but once I did, my life was not longer similar to going through the motions but instead so full.  I am so grateful for every single day.  I have been given 3 more years to love and cherish my two beautiful children.  I am in awe of the love I have for them and every day I spend with them I acknowledge that I am so blessed.

 12/2014 skiing in Vail 

 

1/2015 horse back riding in LA near the Hollywood sign

3/2015 DC with my babes

 3/2015 NYC 

4/2015 my birthday luncheon with my gorgeous mom

5/2015 a festival with my sweet angel

5/2015 beach day with my love

yoga retreat in Puerto Morales, Mexico

5/2015 Israel with my sister

6/2015 family dinner

8/2015 with my mom right before my last scan in Pittsburgh

11/2015 Family photo by the talented Abby Griffith

http://www.theagriff.com

and one more by Ms. Griffith

http://www.theagriff.com

Thank-you for 3 years of well wishes, prayers and positive thoughts.  

yeah!!

Not only did the jejunal intussusception go away but the scan was no evidence of disease.  My scan in May showed that I had jejunal intussusception.  This was the first time anything abnormal presented since my diagnosis in Novemeber 2012 so it was really tough to maintain a positive, optimistic attitude since then.  I am SO thankful I managed to have a great summer because yesterday those magical, beautiful words were said to me by my specialist..."your scan looks great, everything is perfect and no more JI".  There are no words to describe the level of relief and euphoria I felt at that moment.  It's so humbling to receive that news when I know the patients in the rooms surrounding me are likely very sick.  It's a very surreal moment.

I had the scan around 2 and got to the appointment at 230.  We had to wait to see Dr B until after 5!  It's crazy how busy these cancer hospitals are.  My mom and I basically skipped and danced out of there and the second we got outside I received a frantic phone call from my sister.  She got home with Ava and Liam at 6 and found no Callie and my back door wide open.  I had some workers at my house at 10 and they must have accidentally let her out.  It was a horrible, sinking moment.  I could hear Ava crying in the background and I was totally helpless.  The worst part was Callie didn't have a tag on her collar.  Sean and I pass her back and forth and she recently got a new collar and her tags hadn't been added to it.  I even noticed earlier in the week and said out loud "I need to get you new tags!"  We blasted social media pages, lost doggie sites, craigslist, anything we could think of.  I live near two busy streets and I feared the worst but thank goodness a lovely couple picked her up around 3pmwhen it was pouring and tried to find us.... But since we didn't know she was missing until 6, they dropped her off at the humane society.  I picked her up as soon as I got back to Tampa and she came home with new tags AND a microchip.  We are so thankful!!

Needless to say yesterday was a day of high highs and a really brief low low.

I am so grateful for all of the positive thoughts and prayers.  I felt completely calm on Thursday and I know it is because I was wrapped up in all the light that was being sent my way.

BIG WEEK!!!!!

I remember thinking "I have to wait 3 months to get answers and clarity?!?" back in May after my last scan and now the week is finally here. This summer has flown by and has been absolutely wonderful.  I have made the best out of having to wait for answers.  I made a decision to have the best summer possible and to maintain a positive attitude and I think I did a pretty good job;) 


I'll be working today and tomorrow and then I fly to Pittsburgh Wednesday with my mom.  I am so thankful she's coming with me.  I need to look at the schedule again but I have the CATscan around 12pm on Thursday and then an appointment immediately after with Dr. Bartlett to get the results of the scan.  Truthfully, I am nervous.  I am doing a great job dealing with the emotions, fear and anxiety of the unknown but I am a little scared.  I have kept myself busy this past weekend with close friends, fun activities and anything that makes me smile.

Please keep me in your prayers this week.  I (very much) appreciate positive thoughts, white light and any encouragement sent my way.  I will update this blog when I'm in Pittsburgh.

my attitude is gratitude

Hello Friends,

A little less then 3 months after I was diagnosed with cancer another neighborhood friend was diagnosed with stomach cancer.  She was 46 at the time. I remember going to visit her in the hospital as soon as I found out. I stopped by home goods to buy her a soft blanket because that was my favorite gift that I received while I was at Moffitt. She and I spoke about how unlucky and unfair it is to go through this when life seemed so perfect.  Tragically, Donna passed away on July 14th and her funeral was yesterday.   I was a little overwhelmed between the rain,  seeing so many of our mutual neighborhood friends that I don't see as often because of the move from the divorce and knowing that it could have just as easily have been me. I know that's a silly thing to even think but this is the second funeral I've attended in less than a year due to cancer taking a life too soon.   But, my attitude is gratitude.  I am beyond thankful for my life and getting this second chance.  My heart is humbled when I think about how lucky I am. We're all lucky in our own way and I acknowledge this blessing every day.  Tomorrow isn't guaranteed to any of us.  We are in charge of our own happiness.  We must choose to see the bright side, to live life despite the struggles thrown our way and to enjoy every single day.


Yesterday I celebrated two of my closest friend's wedding day. It was a magnificent celebration of their love and an absolute blast!    Their wedding day gave so much brightness and joy to my day and I feel so grateful to have been a part of their day.

slight change of plans

I missed a call from a (412) number this morning.  I immediately knew it was someone from Dr. Bartlett's office.  It's amazing that just seeing those 3 numbers makes my stomach drop.  The voicemail was from the scheduler informing me that my August 6th appointment needed to be rescheduled.  Insert a big eye roll here.  I completely understand things come up and schedules need to be changed but it's a super-big inconvenience when flights and hotels have been booked and days have been taken off work.  This not only effects me but my mom as well.  BUT....... it's just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes.  I was able to reschedule the scan and appointment with Dr. Bartlett for just one week later then originally scheduled. My mom was able to move her schedule around and she will now be joining me in Pittsburgh. I'm quite relieved I don't have to go by myself.  Plus, she's pretty awesome and fun to be around;)  Just 38 days until I can breathe a little easier.

I spent the holiday weekend with my babes.  We spent a good part of the weekend in the sun at the pool, beach or local parks and markets.  It was a beautiful weekend.